The Art of Framing

Framing is a way how we want to perceive the world – I say “want to” because framing plays with cognitive bias effects like confirmation bias and perceiving situations as a gain or loss, regardless of what they actually are.

To Complex?

So here is an example:

A normal D/s couple goes into a store for some pastries and some chips, at the end she pays for everything.

Question: Is she the Dominant or the Submissive?
Answer: It depends how you Frame the situation…

Frame: She is the Dominant
She is the one in charge which is why she pays.

Frame: She is the Submissive
She is paying so her Dominant doesn’t have to bother with things like that.

As you see the same situation can be framed in different ways and depending on which outcome you desire you will get exactly that.

This is just a simple example but I think it illustrates in a very good way how it works – you can frame different issues in different ways and build that way your own “play reality” with things that are happening around you.


Why frame situations anyway?

For DOminants and SUbmissives that like to play with the psychology and the power dynamic, framing can be a highly effective and powerful tool.

You can frame a lot of the normal world in a way that it fits the dynamic. This can bring fun & joy into the dynamic and help to get and stay into the Dominant or Submissive mindset for long periods like hours, days or even weeks when you build your own parallel world with tricks like that.

Framing is a very powerful tool especially in Power Exchange Dynamics – the amount of depth that you can reach is really amazing and part why some people see 24/7 as a “permanent” thing.


How to frame situations?

[alert type=”warning” icon-size=”big”]Framing plays with our mind – that means your view on different things can shift even when you KNOW you framed the situation like that.
Don’t make the mistake to see your “Framed” World as the only reality – this will bring problems with it.[/alert]

[alert type=”danger” icon-size=”big”]Think about long-term implications – once a Frame is established it can be quite hard to argue against it because of the confirmation bias involved.
Especially Submissives can totally go wild with these things and build their own explanations because of one framed situation – if you then change your mind on something that contradicts that frame, it can have ripple effects.
Yes, you can just say “get over it – it´s just a game” but for a Submissive, this can mean she has to throw away a big part of her worldview and that is everything else than fun…

You have been warned![/alert]

In essence, you have to think of an Ideology – doesn’t matter what that kind of ideology it is, Female/Male supremacy can be an option for instance but you can also make up your own without any problem.
Just imagine how the world should work if you personally were in charge of designing that worlds social structure…

Then take basic events or situations into account and make it compatible with your version of the world…

My Submissive goes to work and earns her own money – so in my world, Submissives have to work for their Dominants.

My Submissive should care for my well being – so in my world, it is her responsibility to make sure that I am well treated.

You will find countless other propositions and conflicts you might have to solve so reality and your play version of it melt together.

Now you have your own “Framework” of how everything should work and now you go and frame real-life situations with your Submissive to bring her into that world.

Sounds like a lot of work?
Trust me, it is!
But it is also a lot of fun – when can you ever play in real life with a world of your own making.


What can be the effects?

I usually give a couple of real-life examples but because this is such a deep topic and it gives away quite a lot of the Mindset of different Submissives and myself, I will just give one that illustrates the Power of this quite nicely. – also, it was 7+ years ago.

So when I played with [SD] we mostly communicated via email.
One day I explained to her that she isn’t just serving me but every man around her and that she should have the proper respect for that. I told her she should go to work, look at every male co-worker and realize that he can just use her whenever she likes…

We talked about it and I framed some situations she had in the workplace to illustrate my point – what followed was that [SD] couldn’t really work for 3 days because she was constantly thinking and enjoying the thought of her co-workers and all the man around her using her…

That got so far that she messaged me over the days to tell me how desperate she was and how much she wants to live in that world where she could just live like that…

She experienced a constant cocktail of hormones and was horny as I seldom experienced somebody in my lifetime.

So for the people that think all that mind stuff isn’t bringing a lot and it is too much work… As always it depends on how to use it…


Oh, and do you remember the D/s couple with the pastries and crisps? – In the real world, the one with the most cash on hand will pay, because, in the end, they have a joint account and it doesn’t matter who pays 😉
Framing doesn’t change reality, it just let you enjoy a different version of it…

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