Service Submissives are a sub-type of Submissives and what people often picture when they hear that somebody is serving a Dominant.
To make clear what Service Submissives are like, I talk here about a 100% Service Submissive.
As always nuance is the key when you handle an individual!
Service Submissives are the complete opposite to Bratty Submissives and are driven by a desire to please their Dominant through their service.
They need a dedicated Dominant that gives and demands a lot of feedback and does get pleasure out of routine and dedication.
How are Service Submissives in relationships?
Service Submissives are often described as quiet, dedicated, obedient and in the extreme as self-sacrificing.
They thrive on harmony and habits. Properly motivated they are the perfect servants or assistance and feel fulfilled in these roles.
Service Submissives want to help others to their full potential, they are easy to motivate and put a lot of energy in helping others.
In their mind, the world is built with team-work and they feel responsible to support others in making the world a better place.
They are the quiet shadow that makes everything run smoothly in the background.
Harmony is an essential feeling for a Service Submissive which is why they back off from confrontation whenever it’s possible.
In their mind, it makes more sense for them to be uncomfortable or even unhappy if that avoids conflict or controversy.
This is one reason why most Service Submissive learn over time that they have to be selective about who they Serve and how much they give up of themselves.
Service Submissives are often Introverts by nature and very closed and quiet in their ways, but they’re also some extroverts that enjoy the harmony and routine.
What do they enjoy in play ?
Service Submissives enjoy clear and detailed rules and protocols. They are only really happy if they think they get it right and doing a good job.
They like little daily tasks, especially if they are repeated and useful to others. If they get into a habit its hard for them to break it and they even feel bad if they have to.
They also like to learn skills, that bring others pleasure, to perfection and try to get better with every attempt.
Typical play scenes can include lots of service acts like preparing a nice meal before they undress and wait for their Dominant to demand whatever their heart wants.
They don’t back away from doing things that are hard or even close to their limits as long as their Dominant is happy with their performance.
However, Service Submissives don’t want it too easy – but they would never complain if their dominant is happy.
What are the problems with this type of Submissive?
Service Submissives don’t feel good if they get punished – in fact, they see getting punished often as a failure and
As said before Service Submissives stay naturally away from conflict and their own needs which often results in situations where they feel bad or unfulfilled but don’t communicate that to their Dominant. Which requires the Dominant to either constantly check in with their submissive in very
They also tend to be very self-critical and take feedback that does suggest a sub-perfect performance very personal, even in situations that are not even under their own control.
This makes it very hard to give honest and controlled feedback because anything sub-perfect is often directly taken as a failure.
Managing the self esteem of a service submissive and encouraging her to be open and herself is quite an undertaking and can quickly frustrate less experienced Dominants.
Is it worth it?
Being together with a Service Submissive can be an extremely rewarding experience. You can get whatever your heart (or other
The Service Aspects and the want for harmony can also enrich any relationship and are a perfect setup for long-lasting happiness if you can work out the Submissives needs and wants as well as show her you are worth their gift.
